Somebody did something mean (not to me, thank God - there would be blood...) and it really got under my skin. I have no deep seated loyalties here, as I barely know only one of the parties involved, yet I am truly appalled. Long story, short: A woman I’ll call “Martha” was out drinking with her boyfriend (not worthy of even a fake name). No biggie, right? Except on this occasion, Martha made a rather vulgar, somewhat slutty public spectacle of herself, and the boyfriend participated. And someone took pictures. Then Martha’s friend “Betsy” saw fit to send the pictures to Martha’s ex-husband.
Why? Seriously, WHY? There is NO excuse for this behavior. All knee-jerk reactions (“What a bitch!” or “Wow, what did he do to piss her off?”) aside, what on earth did they hope to accomplish? I say “they” because I’m pretty sure Martha and her (so-called) man were aware of the camera, and knew the pictures would get out. I don’t know if Betsy offered sympathetic words with the pics, but frankly, it doesn’t matter. Only a malicious bitch would do such a thing. Period. No excuse. Martha’s malice is a little sneakier, but it’s malice all the same. If criticized, however, she will likely play the victim card. She has suffered. She’s going through a difficult and confusing time in her life. She’s entitled to a life of her own. That’ll be her excuse, probably offered with a chip on her shoulder. Ever notice that tone of juvenile defiance in such excuses? Especially from people who know full well they’re out of line?
Yes, a divorced woman is entitled to find love again, even with her ex-husband’s ex-friend. Yes, they are entitled to carry on their relationship in public. And yes, they’re even entitled to drink in public. However, she and her boyfriend really ought to stay behind closed doors for their fantasy role playing. If the need for public exhibitionism overwhelms them, they should take it someplace anonymous - no friends or cameras. Martha is a rather well-known member of the community, and a grandmother, not a drunk twenty-year-old at a frat party. She’s old enough to know better. Nothing good could possibly come of a stunt like that. At best, it was a lapse in judgment. At worst it was a very public “fuck you” to a man she already kicked when he was down. Martha and Betsy should be deeply ashamed. The boyfriend is beneath contempt and apparently HAS no shame. Vulgar, immature, cruel, all of them.
One more thing, slightly off topic (but not really...) Martha, if you don’t want to live with a drunk, you might want to consider dating someone other than your now-sober-ex-husband’s Ex-Primary-Drinking-Buddy.” Then again, maybe you deserve each other.