End of a chapter

I've learned a lot in the last few months. About life, about hope, about loss, about grief. The one aspect of loss that most surprised me is how it messes with the perception of time. I became angry and panicky when autumn approached, feeling as if I wasn't supposed to continue through time without my husband. Normally time blends; the past eases into the present, which eases into the future. When a huge part of your life stops moving through time, forcing you to leave it behind, it can throw you off balance at your core. Adjusting to it is a slow process.

It feels like this big new pit in my life is changing shape. It's not as deep as it was a couple of months ago, but it has widened; I'm moving forward and carrying it with me by its edge, stretching it across the surface of time. I suppose it will eventually become a thin layer of my life, like an inch of rainwater spread over a big field as opposed to a small but deep lake. It will probably even absorb into the surface, always there but not always noticeable.

I'm closing on the house tomorrow and driving back to Hooterville Wednesday. Thursday is mostly business - driver's license and tags, and a haircut by Dave! A checkup at the doctor's office, and time with friends. Saturday I head up to The Frozen North. While I'm on the road, my parents will be too; SisterFed and SisterEMT are helping them move to SisterFed's town in the Wild West. I'm going to spend a few months at SisterEMT's apartment, and visit our parents from there. I'll also spend a bit of time in my hometown nearby and I might toddle on over to Sunny California to visit The Corporal. Somewhere in there I WILL be taking Captain Capitalism out for lunch!

http://captaincapitalism.blogspot.com/

Beyond mid-winter, I don't know, but that's OK. I don't need to find a paid job yet; I now receive a monthly pension payment and I have enough cash to live modestly for a couple of years if necessary (without touching my nest egg.) I have until next summer to decide whether or not I'll live in my rental house, and the Corporal is applying to his preferred university. I just might buy a house in CollegeTown, and oddly enough ;) The Corporal likes that idea - something about privacy and a garage for his motorcycle, plus a few home-cooked meals and a live-in laundress...

While I'm in the Frozen North I think I'll (re)develop an old job skill too. I tended bar for a while in college and I loved it, and I think that would be a good part-time job for me. I'm a night owl, and I suspect that a MHRA bartender in a college town could do a lot of good. Just sayin'. And I am SO looking forward to getting back into blogland and my work with A Voice for Men! The Coyote Shivers/Pauley Perrette/LA County Courts story is getting bigger, and Pauley and her pals are about to find themselves in some pretty hot water. Harassment, intimidation, perjury and corruption can come back and bite you in the ass, and all the money in Hollywood can't keep this story under wraps. I almost (but not quite) feel sorry for all the Hollywood "news" reporters who would give their eye teeth to get their hands on this story, but would lose their jobs if they published it. Additionally, I'll be starting on a rather huge behind-the-scenes project, but I can't say much about it yet. If we get it off the ground, it will immediately help a lot of men in dire need.

So today I will pack my suitcases and one or two small boxes. I never thought I'd be ready and willing to walk away from this future I had planned with WolfAlpha, but I need this weird state of limbo to end. Sorting through everything I own and putting his last few personal items where I can find them but not stumble upon them unexpectedly, has been good for me. I hope he doesn't mind a winter in the upper midwest, because I'll be carrying him around in my heart.

Onward.

Crucifixion Friday Night

Alternate headline:
"ABC Inadvertently Opens Industrial Sized Can of Worms; Makes Gooey, Slimy Mess All Over MSM"

This Friday October 18, ABC's 20/20 will air Elizabeth Vargas' interview with Paul Elam, founder of A Voice for Men. ABC's goal is almost certainly to make Overlord Elam look like the Evil Kitten-eating Ogre we all know and love (check out the naked hostility on Elizabeth Vargas' face in the trailer video) but we at AVfM are thrilled to bits. ABC is sending millions of viewers to a world they never knew existed. Many will reflexively (and erroneously) screech, "Misogyneeeee!" but for many, it. will. click.

After 40 years the Men's Human Rights Movement is going mainstream. May institutionalized misandry die in a fire.

...don't forget to check out the comments section; the mods can't delete us fast enough!

I predict that initially this is going to blow up in ABC's face because ABC apparently doesn't see what millions of men and women see, but years from now people will look back and say, "Wow, that was gutsy, letting Paul Elam speak the unspeakable!"


{Personal update: I'm moving in 3 weeks, the house is almost packed and things are going smoothly. And I can't wait to see my friends in Hooterville, and my family!!!}

Take your blood pressure meds before you read this

I'm re-publishing three stories from A Voice for Men, about a news item that was pulled by the local TV station - the suicide of a teenage boy. I don't know if the MSM has picked it back up, but it needs to be told and re-told. I'm absolutely sickened.

http://www.avoiceformen.com/updates/student-facing-possible-sex-offender-registry-commits-suicide/

http://www.avoiceformen.com/misandry/asshole-of-the-year-principal-michael-campbell/

http://www.avoiceformen.com/misandry/what-law-will-be-named-after-christian-adamek/

Sold!

My house hit the Multiple Listings Service on Thursday, I had five showings yesterday and one today. This afternoon I accepted a very good offer; if all goes well we close before November. Good thing it's clean and nearly empty - it'll be a breeze to pack!

Guess I'm really moving forward now...

Six weeks of sweat

The house is on the market. I've lost eighteen pounds. I hurt all over and my right hand goes numb when I grasp anything tightly. It's time to rest for a while.

Mac's last zinnia patch. One of his best.

More pix from the Tank Farm

 

Tank Farm!

I took Saturday off.  I didn't paint anything, I didn't sand anything, I didn't scrub anything, I didn't set one foot on a ladder or even on a step stool.

Old NFO had suggested a get-together at the American Wartime Museum's Open House in Nokesville, VA, and I thought some good old fashioned fun in the sun would be just the ticket. So I spent half a day wandering around with Old NFO and the Murphy's Law (owner of the world's most mischievous dog) taking pictures. My profound ignorance of all things military didn't stop me from being thoroughly impressed, and I have the good sense not to feel like an idiot for not knowing enough to even ask intelligent questions; I learned a long time ago to just shut up and listen when veterans get together and start talking. Oh, and northern Virginia is probably one of the best places in the world to find hundreds of extremely knowledgeable and dedicated military history enthusiasts and volunteers. They don't teach this stuff in schools.

So here is my very first attempt to upload a video I shot all by myself, and a bunch of photos of things that go Boom, things that go Vroom, and a few bits of entirely random Cool Stuff.

Had these been for sale, I would now own one.

Do whatever works.

Huh. Mine don't look like that. I'm pretty sure they never did.

$700. With the right holster, would it fit under a blazer?

Ooooh, pretty! Horsies!

Wanted: Very short driver.

Wiley Coyote was in the next tent waiting for his cue.

Various Awesomeness:

Aaaand since Blogger is a weenie and stinks, I will have to publish more "Various Awesomeness" in another post. Or two or five.