Notable Quotable:

Notable Quotable:

Remember, folks: whenever a woman says "die for me because you are a man," just look her in the eye and say "my body, my choice."
TCM

Thursday, March 14, 2013

My First Death Threat?

I honestly can't be sure.  Obviously it's a joke, but it might not have been intended as a joke.  Hard to tell.  Using words in the wrong order was no doubt intentional, either to be cryptic or to emulate Yoda (badly, I might add.)  Using the wrong words altogether was probably not intentional, but an indication of marginal literacy.  Here, check it out:

"George AdamsMarch 13, 2013 at 8:49 PM
What the say? Did you just say fuck me about? You bitching a little? I'll have you graduate I know top of my Seals in the Navy Classes, and I've been raided in numerous Al Quaeda secret involvements, and I have killed over 300 confirmations. I am a trained gorilla. In warfare, I'm the sniper arm in the entire US force tops. You are targeting me but I'm just another nothing. I will fuck you with precision the wipes of which has never been liked before on this scene. Earth, fuck my marking words. You can get away with thinking that shit over me to the Internet? Fuck again, thinker. As we spy I am networking my secret speaking across the trace and your IP is being prepared right now so you better storm the maggots. I can weigh you in over seven hundred kills, and that's my bear hands. Not only am I extensively accessed by trains, but I have no arms for combatting the entire arsenal United States, and I will use it to wipe your miserable ass. You shit the faceoff of the continent. If only you could have commented what unholy cleverness your little "retribution" was about. To bring down upon you, maybe you would have fucked your tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're holding the pay, you goddamn idiot. I will drown in shit fury. Sincerely, Your dead fucking kiddo."

This was likely in response to my comment a few days ago:

Hey ANONYMOUS troll,

You've had what? three years? to get your head out of your ass, since you wrote that retarded post. I take it "learning" is not your strong suit.
Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.
Of course I deleted the comment to which that was a response, but the funny thing is - for the life of me, I can't remember what it even said!!!  I can only guess he's one of the crazy fuck homophobes (maybe "pick1forme?") that followed the now-defunct MRO site, whose owner attacked me a couple of months ago.  Ironically the most sane MRO person I've yet encountered is that very owner, who realized he was out of control, apologized, and shut down the site.  He may be sane, but some of his followers are anything but!  I tell ya what.  Every single time I insist that gay people have the right to so much as live and breathe, the whack-jobs come spilling out from under the fridge like cockroaches!  Then again, this is all speculation on my part; Mr. (not-linked) George Adams might well be in a pissy little snit over something else entirely.

So, what do you think?  Am I in danger?  Do I need another gun or two?  Maybe a bigger dog?  Y'all know I'm gonna lose sleep over this, right?

"I'm a trained gorilla."  
Dude.  You have NO idea.

14 comments:

  1. I died at the "I'm a trained gorilla" part!

    ReplyDelete
  2. That spiel is a notorious meme. It originated from a first person shooter game, and has been cut and paste verbatim for over 6 years now.

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    Replies
    1. I thought I'd encountered every known type of spam! Huh. Guess not!

      Lovely. (And thanks!)

      Delete
  3. He has bear hands? He's your dead fucking kiddo? I've never met anyone with bear hands, and I know you don't have a dead fucking kiddo. You may be in danger from stupidity, but not from George Adams.

    Love,
    Janie

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  4. I thought I'd seen it before, but can't remember where. The wording was so weird that it stuck with me.

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  5. He can't even speak English and the SEALs would never have a guy who would post something like that. They would just do it. HE is a fucktard wannabe. Don't worry.

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  6. Congrats Suz the Mall Food Court Team 6 is against you. You must be doing something right :)

    While I don't know any SEALS personally, I do know more than a few SF Army types and I can guarantee you that person isn't part of either community.

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    Replies
    1. So, I'm not pissin' off any of the Cool Kids yet. Better put my nose to the grindstone...
      *sigh*

      Delete
  7. I think that rant was supposed to make sense, but as a grammar nut, I couldn't read it without wincing. Around the "gorilla" part, I gave up on the hope that it was readable. How could you even tell that there was a threat involved?

    Also, I am not online much, because of lots of stuff, but most importantly, I am kicking butt at school, I turned 21 just over a week ago (no, no alcohol involved in that birthday celebration or since, thankyouverymuch, I don't like the idea of giving up control of my brain), and I am actually dating a really great girl who is just as socially awkward as I am...I spent that birthday with her, we watched a movie I've loved since I was a child and sipped sparkling grape juice and it was basically my best birthday since I was seven, when getting a bike was the coolest thing ever.

    So basically, I'm finally, at twenty-one, starting to learn how this whole "life" thing works, so I don't get online much.

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    Replies
    1. A belated Happy Birthday to you! Sounds like things are smoothing out for you - I wish you luck!

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  8. T & A's correct. This has been bouncing around 4chan for quite a while (I think Reddit now has a cute collection of variants).

    "I am a trained Gorilla" always reminded me of that line from The Bonzo Dog Band's "Mr. Apollo" (satirizing Charles Atlas):

    "Five years ago, I was a four stone apology, today I am two separate Gorillas".

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  9. Watch out for those bear hands!

    http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/BEAR+HANDS_e745f7_3876121.jpg

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  10. Trolls Dear. they happen. i just ignore them. i consider them semper stoopid.

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