So Long and Thanks for the..Well...

Leaving Indiana.
Whew!
In truth, I have met a lot of wonderful people here and made some good friends.  If I thought I could get away with it, I would lock Loretta and Dave in the moving van and take them with me.  And I give the state high marks for it's few restrictions on gun owners.

But this state has driven me slightly nuts during the 18 years I've lived here.  Here's my bucket;  I'm dumping it.

• You can tell property taxes are low in Indiana, because the grocery stores are roomy and the merchandise is spread out nicely.  What there is of it.  I guess I was spoiled growing up in the Chicago suburbs, because the poor selection of available products here, still rankles.  Except for chicken and noodles, which I'll miss desperately, this is about the most gastronomically unadventurous place I've ever been.  Including Minnesota-the-land-of-white-food.

• Competition for customers is pretty much unheard of.  For such an apparently  friendly place, I've never been ignored by more clerks, or served worse restaurant food, than I have in Indiana.  Including the bimbo at Marsh who, while talking to her supervisor, didn't tell me my purchase total and turned her back to me while holding out her hand for my money!!!  It's been seventeen years and that one still amazes me.

• In 2008, Indiana finally dragged itself kicking and screaming into the 20th century, by deciding to follow daylight savings time and limiting itself to less than five time zones throughout the year.  Eastern and not Central, but hey, small steps.  Now-defunct Indiana motto:  We know what time it is here, and the rest of the world can go f*** itself.  The astronomers are mistaken; the center of the universe is at the intersection of 16th and Georgetown.

• Hoosiers drive like there's nobody else on the road.  (Not surprising because what passes for "driver education" here, is a joke.)  Lane markings and 8-sided Stop signs are optional.  Everybody tailgates in town, and on the highway they spread out just far enough apart so that nobody can safely pull out to join them.  The "speed limit" denotes the speed at which NOBODY drives; they generally drive 5 below or 15 above.  I've been wearing my seatbelt as long as I've had a license, but I never recognized the urgent necessity for it until I started driving in Indiana.  Turn signals are only used by drivers who aren't planning to turn.  (Apparently, it's "nobody's damn bidness" what they intend to do!)

• The proper use of helping verbs is frowned upon in Indiana, and punishable by social ostracism (or being imprisoned in an Ivory Tower.)  The mind boggles at the number of intelligent, educated and professional Hoosiers who "seen" this or that.  This includes teachers' aides and nurses.

• My enlarging backside fits in well in here.  Indiana. Is. Fat.  I waver between sizes 16 and 18, and I'm average here.  (I'm looking forward to the influence of people who eat better and exercise more; I won't be treated like a snob when I try to do the same.)

This Farewell-to-Indiana post is showing me how well I have learned to adapt to my surroundings.  WolfAlpha said he had no idea I hated the place so much.  I told him I really don't hate it; I've been happy and there are some pretty cool places and people here, but the "gold standard" here appears to be mediocrity. Call me uppity, but I was raised better than that.  Come to think of it, so was he.  I've avoided dwelling on it and I've made the best of it, but there's very little of it that I will miss.

Buh-Bye Hooterville,  Hello Virginia-is-for-Lovers!

Going dark for a few days...