Churchian "Science"

I've been debating a guy on the same thread at In Male Fide, where I picked up the Troll.   It has taken me several days to break down his "logic," to the point where I know for a fact that he's as irrational as I originally thought he was.  In summary, he claimed that gays are to be feared (self-evidently, no less) because they are "self-annihilators."  Apparently his survival instinct has ordered it so, and hey, "self-evident" and "self-annihilation" are words used by smart people, so who am I to challenge his intellectual premise?  Of course there's another reason for his "fear:" religion.  But this one was clever because it took him days to acknowledge it.  Perhaps he figured if he kept religion out of it, he could prove himself right with reason.  Except of course he's dead wrong, so in this case, "reason" isn't his friend.  Ironically his screen name is "thordaddy."  I had presumed he was an average fanatichristian, but maybe he's a pagan.  His god might be Thor.  I guess I should look up Norse mythology to understand his theology; no true Christian would practice idolatry so blatantly.  Certainly not a rational Christian, right?  But I digress.  Ooh!  I keep thinking of changing my blog's name, "But I Digress" would be so appropriate....

Anywhackjob, where was I?  Ummm, oh yes.  thordaddy's educated-sounding five-dollar-words brought to mind that goofy practice of the Christian/Evangelical/Fundamentalist recruitment gurus (There I go again, mixing religious terminology!)  wherein they attempt to disprove knowledge gained through the scientific method.  The most obvious and ludicrous example is of course Christo-paleontology, so that's the one I'm going with.  Plus it's an easy target, and if I do very much research, I'll get too angry to write.

Someday I'm going to visit the Creation Museum in Kentucky, but I'll be sure to bring a barf bag.  And a handkerchief to stuff in my mouth so as not to offend with my snorts and barks of mirth (in between bouts of nausea.)  I don't know if the above image is from said museum, nor do I give a rat's ass flying fuck, er, hoot. But yeah, the Creation Museum is one of those institutions that uses lame pseudoscience to prove beyond any doubt, that dinosaurs roamed the earth 2,000 short years ago.  (Jesus most likely had one as a pet.)  The dire need to do so, presumably arose from the renewed popularity of paleontology during the last few decades.  Thanks, Mr. Crichton, rest your soul.  I know you didn't do it singlehandedly, but you sure gave it a big honkin' boost.  You see, the Churchian Recruitment Coalition realized that those eeevil liberal scientists were getting away with teaching, well,  heresy, to our impressionable youth.  How could children possibly become devout Christians if they actually believe that the earth is more that 6,000 years old!!!!!  So the Churchians developed a strategy; they "got their story straight" by referring to the twelfth century "authorized" translation of that collection of historic texts, known a the King James Bible, and they searched for scientific evidence supporting their narrative.  Obviously they didn't do too well, so they pretty much had to make it up as they went along, borrowing heavily from technical dictionaries to make it all sound legit.

Here's some of the "evidence" they collected.  Remember the  "Fossilized Miner's Hat?"

If an industrial-era garment can fossilize in just a few decades, well dogonnit, so can a dinosaur!  Dinosaur fossils must be only a few thousand years old, exactly the same age as the earth, according to the Churchian Recruitment Coalition's Science Committee."  Of course, those "real" scientists (eeevil, liberal) have pointed out that the hat is not fossilized, it's petrified.  There's a difference.  Shocking I know.
"Shhhhhhh!" says the Coalition.  "Seeds of doubt, seeds of doubt.  That's all it takes, little seeds of doubt!"
Now they teach children that the fossil record, as (pfft!) "interpreted" by those (pfft!) "Scientists," is a rumor started by Satan and perpetuated by liberal universities.

Incidentally, the Coalition also has deemed carbon 14 dating to be entirely unreliable, due to its vast 400 year margin of error.  I know, I know, we all thought it was reasonably accurate, but we were misled.

Now this one, this one stands alone, as utterly undeniable evidence that man and dinosaurs coexisted.  (Trumpet fanfare, please...)  Cave drawings.  Yes, cave drawings of dinosaurs, and we all know that only humans drew pictures on cave walls; there is absolutely NO evidence of trained elephants performing tricks like that way back then.

I'm crying "foul!"  It's f*ing smiling at me!

OK.  Even if that thing was drawn by a real-life caveman, rather than a twentieth century third grader, does it really prove that cavemen saw actual dinosaurs?  p-p-p-f-f-f-HAHAHAHAHAHA!  No *snork* really!  I ask that quite seriously.  *ahem*  I gotta wonder if the Churchian Recruitment Coalition ever considered the possibility that maybe cavemen, like us, found, uh, dinosaur fossils, and were perhaps intelligent enough to render dinosaur "drawings" based on the shape of those fossils.  Hmm.

In conclusion, (yes, now I'm lecturing you...) this is a frighteningly perfect example of the kind of batshit crazy logical disconnect that the Churchians feel is required of a True Christian.  Seeds of doubt.  Little seeds of doubt.