Gentlemen, don't bother reading this. Post menopausal ladies, will this hormone crap ever end?????
I know, it's almost over. Nine years of peri-menopause and one year of cheering almost every month. Can it end already? Please? I've had a decent day. I painted the third bookshelf, laundry is moving along. Lowe's called and offered me a job starting at ten cents an our above what I requested (my ending library wage.) WolfAlpha is working days for a few weeks; he came home early today and spent a couple of hours building shelves in my new storage room in the basement, then he cooked his inimitable fried chicken and mashed potato salad. He sat down in front of the TV with the volume cranked up and I wanted to scream and throw things!!!!! I didn't even ask him to turn it down because I knew I wouldn't be able to keep the edge out of my voice. I closed the office door and put in earplugs, and still simmered for almost half an hour. There's no reason for this - I know it's hormones and absolutely nothing else.
I hate being angry; it almost hurts physically. When something sets me off, I go into high gear trying to solve the problem, or to remind myself that there's nothing I can do about it. But this? There's nothing to fix! Nothing to accept! Nothing to out-think. There's no way to calm myself down because I can't address the trigger - it's pure emotion. Booze helps. Whoop-de-doo! Fight chemicals with more chemicals? If this were to happen more than a couple of times in the past year, I'd be a raging drunk.
So yay for me. I held my tongue, plugged in the Ipod, and I'm sipping some Grand Marnier. I'm already calmer now, but worn out. I really could do without this.