Notable Quotable:

Notable Quotable:

Remember, folks: whenever a woman says "die for me because you are a man," just look her in the eye and say "my body, my choice."

Thursday, September 20, 2012


Not All Women Are Like That.  I know, ladies, I know.  Granted, the vast majority of NAWALTs are far too old to have much influence on the future.  They were shouted down fifty years ago, and have gracefully accepted the fact that they are hopelessly outdated and uncool.  In fact, they're fine with being uncool; their immediate worlds are shrinking every time they read the obituary page, but their immediate worlds still make sense.

Some of you, however, are still quite young.  How you have managed to see the (wo)man behind the curtain, or indeed, how you ever even wondered if she might exist, is beyond me.  When I was your age I was an oblivious introvert who just didn't "get" much of anything.  I did follow the herd a bit, not because I wanted to be where they were going, but because it never occurred to me that there was a different way.  I got so lucky.  When I met my husband I was wavering between two drunks, and I cringed at the thought that sooner or later one of them would ask me to marry him.  Since I didn't want to be married to either of them, I finally had to ask myself why the hell I was wasting my time with them.  And then I met the real deal, and I kept him.  I could have scored a wealthy "Beta Provider/Sucker," but the ones who grovelled at my feet were too Beta.  (And back then such men were plentiful; I was pretty, but hardly beautiful.)  I didn't realize it then, but I needed a man who could lead me, with a gentle, patient hand.  An Alpha Beta, or maybe a Beta Alpha.

But this isn't about me, it's about you.

I'm sorry.  I apologize for the world my generation has given you.  I also apologize to your male peers, but there's a sad, sad irony here: those of your male peers who "get it" are pissed off, and rightfully so.  But they actually have more options than you do.  They can walk away, and they can handle the criticism they will face for it.  They've been criticized their entire lives.  They're used to it, and they haven't let it destroy them.  The ugly truth is, they will do better without you than you will do without them.  You, on the other hand, are Women.  Your girlfriends are women.  Your coworkers are women.  Your emotional support networks are women.  If you thumb your noses at them, they will eviscerate you, and you haven't been taught to be tough enough to take it.  A few of you have learned on your own how to have thick skin, and I freely admit I am in awe of you; I never understood other women, so I didn't get very close to many of them, but I always thought there was something wrong with me, not them.  Please take my advice: Escape.  Make a clean break.  Most of those women don't understand you and they either despise you or fear you.  They have nothing to offer you except a wet blanket and a knife in your back.

Again, I'm sorry.  I'm sorry that you have been led to believe that you can borrow the price of two houses and spend four, six, or maybe eight years in college studying something fun and easy, and then graduate into an interesting middle class career.
Incidentally, read this book!!!

...To be fair, that might actually happen for a small minority of you, but chances are, many of those fun and easy careers are going to disappear in another decade or so.  They produce little or nothing  and our economy can no longer afford them.  Educational institutions, K-post grad,  will shrink, and those non-teaching "teachers" already in the field will have first dibs on the remaining jobs.  HR departments will shrink as work forces shrink, and as employers look harder to find places to cut costs.  Non-profits will shrink as government grants shrink, so your grant-application-writing skills will be useless.  Municipal, state and federal clerical jobs will disappear or be cut to part-time/no benefits.  I'm not sorry that you will have to work for you pay, because real work builds character and gives satisfaction.  You might well end up happier, if poorer, than your elders.  But I am sorry that we have deceived you.  We told you it would be easy, because for us it was easy, but then we used up all the resources a long time ago and we've been borrowing from you for decades.  (Who am I kidding?  We've been borrowing from ME for decades!)

I'm sorry that we told you you'll be happy and fulfilled without a husband and children; only a few of you actually will.  I'm sorry that nobody taught you how to become the kind of woman a good man would want to marry.  We didn't teach you how to cook, manage a household, manage money, manage your desires, or mind your tongues.  We didn't teach you how to sacrifice, for your husband, for your children, or for your own future.  We've been telling you all your lives that you can have it all, right now, but we didn't tell you how to earn it.  I'm also sorry we told you that you could be an outstanding career woman, wife and mother, all at the same time.  You can't.  Something always has to give, and it's usually the breadwinner childcare-assistant household-helper husband, and ultimately the children.

You're on your own.  If you're lucky enough to find and marry a good man, do not listen to your female friends' subtle hints that maybe you could do better.  You probably can't, and the government will have a lot less money to give you and your kids between husbands.  If you do find a marriageable AND MARRIAGE-MINDED man, you're going to have to do more than just show up.  You're going to have to prove yourself worthy.  Reliable.  Responsible.  Loyal.  Compassionate.  Feminine.  You will not have the future you've been promised; you will have the future you earn.  You might even end up happy.

If any of the above ramblings make the least bit of sense to you, then there's a good chance you really aren't Like That.  Good luck to you as you re-invent the wheel, figuring out what your great grandmothers always knew.  I admire your grit, and once again, I'm sorry.

Anonymous Letter


  1. It's nice that someone of your generation can apologize and all but, what are any of you gonna do about it now? This has gone way too far. The little kids of today are gonna be a thousand times worse that the young adults now. There are junior high school girls performing fellatio on multiple guys and receiving bracelets to wear to school to show their pride in being the queen bee at the "rainbow party." And most think they are "bi" anyway. The next generation will have most guys being "bi" as well. What now?

    1. Activism, that's what. And "raising awareness." I'm working on both. Please join me. (Come back Monday night or Tuesday; I should have an "After Action Report.")

  2. Good luck with that activism, Ms Suz. Considering the work you are doing to highlight the injustices of biased Family Courts, you have no need to apologize to anyone for anything. You are doing your bit to make society a safer, fairer place for all. You are not like that - not one little bit.

    I am eager to hear the results of your canvassing. Take care and stay safe.
    Best wishes.

    1. Thanks, Andybob! It should be a piece of cake, but I'll be looking over my shoulder anyway. I intend to fly through a couple of towns and be gone before anyone knows what hit them!

  3. I like this lady's attitude. It's kinda like, "we women (in large measure) screwed this up and we need to fix it and make amends" type of stuff. Keep up the good work. Oh, and apology accepted.

  4. Great rambeling.
    " We didn't teach you how to sacrifice, for your husband, for your children, or for your own future."
    So true. Its all about being an independent woman, who makes her own money and doesn't need a man. Let alone do something for a men!

    The thing Im most afraid of is not finding a Marriage-Minded man. I mean what is de benefit of marriage for men these days?

    1. There is no benefit to marriage for men these days.

      Tons and tons of liability and risk....

      But no benefit at all.

  5. Another great post, Suz. I'm adding you to my blog-roll if that is okay with you.


  6. "The thing Im most afraid of is not finding a Marriage-Minded man. I mean what is de benefit of marriage for men these days?"

    That's a tough one. My first suggestion would be to involve yourself as heavily as possible in the MRM and position yourself on the forefront. Be the most active activist you can be.

    That done, I think you'll find that most men (in general) actually prefer monogamy given the chance, it's just that the legal risks involved in marriage are too great to say nothing of emotional ones. You need to find ways to minimize this risk (in particular, if you live in California, move. I mean it, start packing right now).

    And if your dead-set on legal, official marriage (I think you should reconsider personally, but it's your life) then it will be absolutely vital to have a prenup ready to sign. Be open to negotiations, but it would be good to have some boiler-plate ready with generic terms your willing to agree to in a marriage.

    1. Women need to lock down legal marriage, particularly if they plan on not working and having children. I'm not bitter, but I have seen way too many women live with a guy (who will likely pay most of the bills which is great while he is around) and then five years later he leaves (because he can) and she is left with NOTHING. Even if there is a child involved and he pays his child support it is NEVER enough to provide what a two parent household can. Believe me I'm not slamming men - women need to face some hard facts and reality!

      Women need to think marriage and act accordingly. OR if they want to go it along they need to get the education and job that is sustainable and that is not in the public or non-profit sector - those are fantasy jobs that as the article has noted will not last!!!

    2. So your answer to the (statistically unlikely) scenario where a man leaves the woman (instead of the statistically likely one where the woman leaves the man).. is to do what? Jail him? Perhaps the death penalty?

      Usually the woman, in the majority of the cases is left with the better part of the man's assets, salary (for the next 18 odd years), and the children. You see, cohabitation in some states already classifies as marriage.

      The solution is not to start demanding more money from men, we men don't give a shit about you anymore. And you won't get any more money out of us as long as that stays so.

      Marriage nowadays is a crooked deal, a scam at best, and guess what, men of my generation don't give a shit and won't marry.

      No, the solution is to bring back equal repercussions. And yes, that means for women too. But since that's never happening... enjoy your soviet style collapse..

      I know I will, with some whiskey and some young cunt.

    3. I'm talking about women who are left by men who are NOT married to them. They have decided to co-habit with some guy who pays the bills. The guy has NO obligation towards the woman, particularly if there are no children. And guess what, it works fine for a couple of months, a couple of years whatever, but then the guy moves on (for any number of reasons some valid, some not - doesn't matter. The woman has left herself, by her choice, at risk. And surprise, surprise, surprise, the woman is left with NOTHING.

    4. If all you want is a guy to pay the bills...

      I am thinking that that is exactly what the author is talking about.

      If you aren't willing to invest in the relationship, in him,... then why would it surprise you that you TOO are considered disposable as you consider the man to be???

      Shift all the risk to the men as you suggest?? Why are you surprised that they want no part of it??

    5. @ Barcs:
      'Nuff said!
      (not really, I never stop) Women who make stupid and risky decisions about how to support themselves (i.e. get a man to do it, but don't commit to him) aren't NAWALTs. See:;postID=2311041770415589133

    6. AnonymousSeptember 22, 2012 6:26 AM

      The thing Im most afraid of is not finding a Marriage-Minded man. I mean what is de benefit of marriage for men these days?

      @Anon, asking this shows you are thinking beyond yourself. Keep it up!

      You have to bring something to his life that he does not already have, something he wants badly enough to give up his freedom, and you have to keep bringing it.

      Can you cook? Clean? Do laundry? Not enough. He can already do that well enough to survive.

      Best advice I have:
      1. Don't get fat. At least weigh less than he does.
      2. Don't be a bitch. Be the person you'd want to be with.
      3. When he wants sex, say yes.

      If you can't do the above happily for the rest of your life, well ... you aren't worth the loss of freedom.

  7. As the thin veneer of civil society continues to erode, more women will be looking for alpha males to hide behind. Good luck with that ... You have destroyed most of them and the resulting beta males can't man up to anything.

    The Muslims know that!

    1. Erhh, that's not even close to the Alpha-beta paradigm.

      Alpha's are the apex, you don't have fluctuating proportions based on society.

      Society just defines the role of beta's, be its tax paying, child-support paying chumps, or honoured husbands and builders of society.

  8. Beautiful, Suz. I couldn't have said it better myself. Perfect.

  9. Balderdash.
    Muslim don't know. Because in Muslim society everything is the other way round. It is a mirror, a reverse image of Western neo-feminism. And neither is good.

    Too many alpha males can be bad for society, as can too few alpha males. In the first case society is too destructive, for themselves and for others, in the second case it is too weak to defend themselves from the enemy.

    So no, Muslims don't know.

  10. I truly wish people would give up on this alpha/beta male crap. Its disturbingly stupid.

    How about if women start behaving with a little honor for a change? I've had women do things to me on -many- occasions that if a man had done them, I'd have taken him out to the parking lot and straightened him out.

    Women want to be married, maybe y'all should start looking at a man as something more than a meal ticket. We can tell, you know.

  11. Love it Suz. I always love your posts geared like this - trying to tell women what men think in a way that's honest and real.

  12. Women from fourteen years old are flattered with the title of "mistresses" by the men. Therefore, perceiving that they are regarded only as qualified to give the men pleasure, they begin to adorn themselves, and in that to place ill their hopes. [Men] should, therefore, fix our attention on [reminding women] that they are valued for the appearance of decent, modest and discreet behavior.

    This rings just as true today as it did in ancient Rome. I find young women often have a public image that is aggressive, obnoxious and vulgar. Epictetus' lesson in the modern parlance is simple: Dear Women - show some f*cking class and you'll attract a decent man.

    1. Yep.
      Ladies, go over to Sunshine Mary's and listen... men have not changed. We are simple beings, it is fairly easy to keep us happy, but you have to commit to it.
      Yes it is hard.
      But (as any guy will tell you) anything worthwhile is.

  13. Straight people problems, LOL. Loving this blog, especially the comments, very entertaining stuff for an outsider.

  14. This entire blog makes me unbelievably happy that I'm a lesbian. And that I don't know its author in real life.

  15. Thank you Suz, for showing me that not speaking my mind, not pursuing an education, and having no other ambitions in life other than to serve a husband with slavelike devotion make me a good woman!

    I sure hope you have a daughter to raise with all of these super healthy ideas about women!

  16. Hi Suz,

    thanks for apology, but it requires much more to make up for 30 years of shit.
    I am marriage-minded, but I am also PUA - I will have my fun before I settle down.


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